The onlyperson that would even come close is Helen and I doubtif she would want anything to do with me, not after shewas through talking to Sophie and besides by now she’sprobably a thousand miles away.I know I’m feeling sorry for myself. But I’m in thisterrible rut and can’t or maybe don’t want to take theeffort to climb out of it. I’ll just keep drinking myJim Beam and build up some courage.Looking back on the last six months of our lifetogether is painful. One day she wasn’t feeling good. Isuggested she go to the doctor and we argued about itas usual. Finally she decided to go. I drove her to thedoctor’s office and he ran a bunch of tests. She cameout of the office and hugged me. Right then I knew wehad problems. I can’t tell you the last time she cameand hugged me like that. We both went back into the doctor’s private officewhere he told us the bad news. She had tumors and theywere probably cancerous. He was still going. She's so involved in this club that our sex life has also changed dramatically. I've only had normal intercourse with her four times in the last eight months. And each time, she had me give her head until she got off first and then would hurry me up to get off, which didn't take long anyway, since I'm good for about four minutes on a good day. Most of the time now, I have to plead with her just to suck her luscious cunt a few minutes before she's off somewhere on Cause business. She routinely encourages me to jack off when I tell her I need sex. She always reminds me of my wedding vows and of being faithful to her, just in case I think of seeking out another woman. THE DINNER PARTYJessica called me at work all excited about a dinner party for some special Cause members from out of town. They were in town for the night and she wanted me to rush home and prepare a full steak dinner for her and them. I complained and resisted, but she was so sweetly persuasive, that I gave in.I.
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